Get Grandpa Joe Some Pepto: The Penn State Preview

Yes, it's been a light posting week. It seems that Captain Funnypants and his Navarre-esque posting consistency took the week off. It's tough to be mad at him...cocaine's a hell of a drug.

First of all, I have to give credit where credit is due. I did not masterfully create the photoshopped goodness you see on the left. It was stolen borrowed from the genius that is Jim Tressel over at his blog, Tressel's World. I would tell you that it's not the real Jim Tressel over there, but no one is really sure. Let's just call him Evil Jim Tressel. No wait, that won't work. The sweeatervest himself is inherently evil. Either way, it's just roundabout way to justify a shout out to that which is my favorite rarely-posted-to blog on the internet.

We pack up the family truckster and head to Beaver Stadium this week. Beaver Stadium is in Happy Valley, which completes the most blatant piece of sexual innuendo since construction workers selected I-75's Exit 69 to be Big Beaver Road. Well, maybe not the most blatant. It's been a tough week, coming off of the long Saturday tailgate and game, and trying to convince yourself that Mario Manningham is a product of offensive scheme and not a shitload of speed, a devastating first move, and perfect route running. Maybe you, like Sports Illustrated, think that Mario is the team, and without him the sky is falling. Then you woke up Thursday morning, and the sky was actually falling.

"The expectation is for the position, not the player," Lloyd will most certainly say. But I can't imagine you expected that position to net 527 yards and nine touchdowns. Nine touchdowns on 24 receptions. That's the type of stuff that will get you stalked by a 23 year old. Speaking of which, how do I get Lloyd's email address?

Anyway, back to Penn State...

The School:

• Founded 1855


• Enrollment 41,289


• Motto: "Making Life Better"

The Records:

• Michigan is 8-3 all-time against Penn State, including the last seven straight.


• Michigan is 4-1 all-time in Beaver Stadium

The Numbers:

• Michigan leads the nation is rushing defense and time of possession


• Mike Hart is the nation's 6th leading rusher


• Penn State's kicker, Kevin Kelly, is 2nd in the nation in field goals per game

Watch Out For:

• Tony Hunt, the nation's 11th leading rusher


• Paul Posluszny: linebacker who will be looking to add to his 50 tackles on the season

Fun Facts:

• Brent Musburger is doing this game


• This will be the first and only time Chad Henne will play in Beaver Stadium


• The Detroit Tigers are two wins away from the World Series


• Wisconsin's band is on the hot seat following their trip to Ann Arbor


• Stop eating spray cheese