ND Takes Their Ball and Goes Home

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Sometimes it takes a little while to really digest what you've seen on a Saturday afternoon in the fall​, to remove the bitter taste left after a loss.  Feel free to fill in any other not-so-relevant shit-sandwich-eating metaphors here.  

Tasty​

Tasty​

Bottom line, that sucked.  It was historic sucking.  You will discuss this game in the future and refer to it as "that game that sucked."  The Borges hybrid gameplan was pages and pages of plays that when held at arms length, had the receiver's routes looking like shafts, the blocking schemes looking like balls and the defensive counterparts were mouths and teeth.  On paper, a diagram of suck.  That's suck to its very core.  

Telestrator Dong​

Telestrator Dong​

And yes Denard sucked.  The happyfeet, backfooted version of Denard is unable to throw with any type of accuracy.  Any.  At all.  If we had a serviceable backup and didn't have this Jiminy Cricket sitting on our shoulder telling us that we can't bench this poor fella because "he's got a great smile" and "he stuck with us after RichRod" and "he's a great leader" and "did you see what he did to Notre Dame last year?"...we would have had someone else start the second half.  But we don't have that option.  

​This type of shit typically angers touchdown Jesus

​This type of shit typically angers touchdown Jesus

Denard deserves better, or at least something different.  And we deserve better, or at least something different.  We are handcuffed, and because we are, and because we are not adjusting smoothly from small and fast and read-option to big and strong and pocket-passing...it's time to blame a coordinator.  So great.  Now I hate Al Borges.  Fire Al Borges.  It's just like old times.  Hey, I think Michigan really is back!!

Anyway, I am sure it looked just as horrid on television, but that was near the top of a increasingly long list of shitty games I have attended, most of which have been over the last five years.  If Notre Dame is hanging its hat on that victory as a return to glory, or any of its three victories over Big Ten foes for that matter, they will soon find, as we have, that they are not ready for prime time.

But I think (and have thought for some time) that these two teams are somewhat headed in the right direction.  Perhaps in a few years this game will really mean something...  

Wait, what?  ND is cancelling the series?  Super.  I'm sure we'll get a great home-at-home to replace it.  We are so good at scheduling interesting home-at-homes.

Weekend Roundup, Gameday is Going Where? Edition: 9/25/12

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Sometimes I call Monday part of the weekend.  That way, I can justify not posting until Tuesday.  This typically happens after a loss.  Particularly bad losses.  Memorable ones. Anyway, here's what happened around the internet while you watched the Hail Mary that wasn't .

Staff Predictions for Notre Dame

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Tuba Says:​

This is a quintessential Michigan v Notre Dame matchup (of the last 20 years). Two completely unproven teams in the midst of yet another rebuilding year of the program. But thankfully each University seems to be comfortable in the direction they're heading. There is no controversy surrounding this matchup or the teams heading into Saturday. ND has a spread quarterback to run their offense, Michigan has a dynamic quarterback to run theirs. Neither are ideal situations, ND would love Gholston to be a senior and Michigan, despite all his dilithium would love Denard to be a senior Shane Morris but the teams are on the right track, especially at that position. By 2015 this is going to be a monster matchup. Of course question marks of greater significance exist on both sides of the ball and unfortunately for Michigan, on both sides of their lines.

Much has been made about the weak Irish secondary and as much as I fight to keep the ghosts of Lloyd out of my head for this prediction, I remember being in South Bend when a soccer player returned a Michigan interception for a touchdown, I'm still taking Michigan to win. But THAT is South Bend everyone. It is the old Yankee Stadium of college football. There are ghosts in that place and we have averted their ire in recent years. The question on Saturday won't be which team is better, it will be which team can play mistake free. ND is HOT after their assertive victory over a very mediocre Spartan team. And while we're on MSU, they're so mediocre, that, on opening night against Boise St, I texted the webmaster asking if we could play the Green and White tomorrow (meaning before we got pasted by Alabama). But MSU apparently has a good defense and it didn't prevent ND from scoring so what does that mean for our defense that can't prevent anyone from scoring? It means we're going to have to smoke 'em out. It's still September and it's an election year so why not foster the type of rhetoric that worked for so many years for GDub? You're either with us or against us.

Michigan 38 - Notre Dame 35 (we're gonna have to make a field goal at some point if we want to win this one).

​The Webmaster Says:

The more time passes, the more I'm convinced that we can't win this game.  The formula to defeat us is readily available for download from the internet.  The revenge factor will play a role as well...Under the Lights: The Reckoning.  Add in the stupid magic shit that happens in that graveyard, and you have a recipe for disaster.

The antidote is a completion percentage over 50% to soften the line that made MSU look like, well, like us against Alabama.​  Denard will need to open things up for his legs by doing it with his arm, and if that doesn't work, I'd like to think we're going to have him run anyway.  Also, ND will not want this to be close.  If we're within 10 when the 4th quarter starts, expect the buttholes to pucker a bit on the Irish sideline.

But I'm pretty sure we won't be.

​Irish 35 - Michigan 20